j PS 3503 
' .R53 
^ H45 

1914 

Copy 1 



M 



O PLAYS EXCHANGED. 

\HER'3 Edition 
» or Phnys 



Her First Assignment 



Price, 15 Cents 




COPYRIGHT. 1889. BY WALTER H. BAKER & CO. 



B. yj. Pfnero's Plays 

Price, 50 gen$s Gacl^ 



THF AMATON^ Farce in Three Acts. Seven males, five fe- 
iri£i rllTliaZjVliO males. Costumes, modern; scenery, not 
difficulto Plays a full evening. 

THE CABINET MINISTER SX, Znl^YeAZ. S 

tumes, modern society; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

HANHY niriC Farce in Three Acts. Seven males, four fe- 
l/rvliJJ'l fyiV^fV males. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two inte- 
riors. Plays two hours and a half. 

THF riAY I ORn fbHFY Comedy in Four Acts. Four males, 
inEiU/^l Lil/IVU V£"UI-"A ten females. Costumes, modern; 
scenery, two interiors and an exterior. Plays a full evening. 

HK HOfl^F IN HRnFR Comedy in Four Acts. Nine males, 
niC niiUOC 111 UAUE.EV tour females. Costumes, modern; 
scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

THE HOBBY HORSE §?f aSef^'cX'^s^-mrr?; 

seenery easy. Plays two hours and a half. 

ip|C Drama in Five Acts. Seven males, seven females. Costumes, 
****'^ modern ; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

I AHY RniTNTIFIT! Play in Four Acts. Eight males, seven 
Lti\Ul DWUlliirULi females. Costumes, modern; scen- 
ery, four interiors, not easy. Plays a full evening. 

I FTTY I^'^aii^a in Four Acts and an Epilogue. Ten males, five 
LiLil I t females. Costumes, modern; scenery complicated. 
Plays a full evening. 

THF MAnKTRATF Farce in Three Acts. Twelve males, 
lllLi XVI/\UliJ I i\/^ I £• four females. Costumes, modern; 
scenery, all interior. Plays two hours and a half. 



Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 

l^^alter ^^ pafeer & Companp 

No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 



Her First Assignment 

A Comedy in One Act 



By 

GLADYS RUTH BRIDGHAM 

Author of '* A Case for Sherlock Holmes," " Three of a Kind,' 
" The Turn in the Road,'' " The Queen of Hearts,'' 
*• Leave It to Polly," *' Ring-Around-a-Rosie," 
" A Regular Scream," etc. 



BOSTON 

WALTER H. BAKER & CO, 

1914 



Her First Assignment 



CHARACTERS 



Mrs. Alice Gordon-Sterling, a very young matron. 

WiLBERTA Gordon, •• Billy, "" her sister. 

Mrs. Craig-Winter. 

Mrs. Harrison Folinsbee. 

Mrs. Rosemary Stevens. 

Frances Kidder. 

Jacinth Carlysle. 

Madge Hastings. 

Mary Stoddard. 

Jessie, Mrs. Sterling s maid. 

Plays about an hour. 




Copyright, 19 14, by Walter H. Baker & Co. 



^FEB 21 !9I4 
©G!.D .'J6104 



Her First Assignment 



.SCENE. — Mrs. Sterling's drawing-room. Exits r. a7id c. 

{As the curtain rises Mrs. Alice Gordon Sterling, in an 
elaborate afternoon gown, stands by a table arranging 
flowers in bowls. She should be represeJiied as being 
about eighteen years old, her sister about seventeen. Mrs. 
FoLiNSBEE is a disti7iguished- looking wo7nan of forty. 
Mrs. Stevens slightly older than the other guests. All 
but Jessie ivear afternoon gowns, and all but Mrs. Ster- 
ling wear hats.) 

Enter Jessie, with a large glass bowl. 

Jessie. Is this the bowl you meant, Mrs. Sterling? 

Alice. Yes, that is the one. See if it will hold these red 
flowers. (Jessie takes the flowers and arranges them in the 
bowl') My sister hasn't come in yet? 

Jessie. No, miss — ma'am, 1 mean. 

Alice {looking anxious). I do hope she won't be late. 
You are sure everything is ready ? 

Jessie {with a superior smile). Yes, miss. Excuse me, 
ma'am, I mean. If you could have seen the affairs I served at 
when I worked for Mrs. Craig- Winter, you wouldn't have any 
doubts about me having things ready. 

Alice {looking annoyed). I dare say. 

{A door is heard to close. She turns her head toward the 
C. exit and listens.) 

Jessie. Why, Mrs. Craig- Winter 



Alice {impatiently). My sister, I think. 

( Walks toward door.) 

WiLBERTA Gordon {outside). Al-ice ! Where in the world 
are you ? 



4 HER FIRST ASSIGNMENT 

Alice. Here, Billy. 

Enter Wil., c. She is a girl about seventeen^ very pretty. 
She wears a tailor-made suit and hat. 

Wil. Oh, Alice, I have had a streak of luck ! {Sees Jessie. 
Stops abruptly.) Last touches for the festive occasion ? 

Alice. Yes. How does everything look ? 

Wil. Lovely, dear. 

Alice. Well, I owe much of it to Jessie. 

Jessie. Thanks, miss — ma'am, I mean. I hope I worked 
long enough for Mrs. Craig- Winter to be able to get ready for 
an occasion like this. Can I do anything more for you ? 

Alice. No. You may go. \_Exit Jessie, r. 

Wil. (removing her hat and coat ; throwing them on to a 
chair). My soul, Alice, how do you stand her ? It is a good 
thing she doesn't work for me ! I would tell her a few things 
that " Mrs. Craig- Winter " {imitating Jessie) never even heard 
about. 

Alice. Hush ! For pity's sake ! She is the limit and I've 
had "Mrs. Craig- Winter " for breakfast, dinner and supper 
ever since she came, but the girl really is a treasure. I never 
could have managed without her. I'm scared to death for 
fear she will leave. 

Wil. And well she knows it. She will run the house and 
every one in it shortly. 

Alice. I don't know which is the most annoying, the in- 
comparable Mrs. Craig- Winter, or her insistence in calling me 
** miss " instead of " madam." 

Wil. I don't know that I blame her there. You look 
about sixteen, sister mine. That dress makes you look even 
more youthful than you usually do. 

Alice. Billy, you don't honestly mean that ? {Runs to a 
glass.) I've done everything I could think of to make myself 
look older, for Jessie is no worse than some of the ** cats " who 
are coming here this afternoon. They all say that I am a 
matron when I ought to be a *' bud." They never will forgive 
me because I married before I had a chance to make my 
debut. 

Wil. (disgusted). Oh, piffle ! What would they say if 
ihey knew you couldn't have made a debut? That you would 
have been clicking a typewriter in some office if you hadn't 
become Mrs. Sterling ? -* 



HER FIRST ASSIGNMENT 5 

Alice. Heaven ! It's a good thing for Richard that I 
came out of the West and no one here knows our early financial 
history. 

WiL. Honestly, Alice, aren't you horribly sick of the whole 
business ? 

Alice (sinking). Well, I will tell you the truth, Billy. I 
love Richard just as much as ever, more if anything, but it's 
terribly hard to live up to his money. 

WiL. (dryly'). I thought so. 

Alice. We always lived such a different life, and I must 
say, Billy, I think tlie things 1 used to do counted for a good 
deal more than the things 1 am doing now, but I wouldn't let 
Dick know for the world. I'll be a credit to him or die in the 
attempt. But, Billy, I'm horribly selfish. You said you had 
struck luck. What is it, dear? 

WiL. Oh, Alice, at last I have an assignment ! 

Alice. That horrible newspaper ! 

WiL. Now, Alice, why do you say that ''horrible nev/s- 
paper"? You know I am hoping to get my Hving out of a 
horrible newspaper, and I've been weeks convincing an editor 
that I am equal to an assignment. I wouldn't get it now if it 
wasn't for sickness, but I've got the chance, and believe me, I 
am going to make good. 

Alice. Billy, you know that neither Dick nor I want you 
to work on a newspaper, or anything else as far as that's 
concerned. 

WiL. I appreciate that, Alice, but Dick married one poor 
girl, and it isn't likely that I'm going to make him feel that he 
has married two. It was more than good of him to offer me a 
home here with you. I'm not going to let him support me into 
the bargain. 

Alice. But, Billy dear, you are so young. 

WiL. {ivith a shouf). Young? Well, now it doesn't seem 
to me that you are the one to deliver a lecture on the proper 
course to be pursued by maidens of tender years. If you are 
old enough to marry, I am old enough to work. 

Alice. What — what is the assignment? 

WiL. I'm going to a Mrs. Ferncroft's to be present at an 
afternoon affair of some kind. 

Alice. This afternoon ? 

WiL. Yes. There is to be some popular writer at Mrs. 
Ferncroft's, and do you know, I have forgotten her name. I 
was so excited when they told me that I didn't notice, but it 



6 HER FIRST ASSIGNMENT 

won't make any difference. I can find out who she is when I 
get there. 

Alice. Oh, Billy, I wanted you here this afternoon to 
help me. 

WiL. My goodness, Alice, you don't need my help for just 
an "At Home." Besides it will be all the better for you not 
to have to introduce your reporter sister. You might lose 
class. 

Alice. Now that will do, Billy Gordon ! When my friends 
can't receive my sister, they can't receive me. 

VViL. You are the dearest girl in the world, Alice. I've 
got to ask a favor of you. Will you lend me a gown for this 
afternoon ? 

Alice. A gown? 

WiL. Yes. I have to appear at Mrs. Ferncroft's as a guest. 
She doesn't want any one to know that I am a reporter. I need 
something, I suppose {iioubtfully\ after the style of the one 
you have on. 

Alice. Yes, and a picture hat. You can have anything 
you like, dear. I was going to offer you something of mine for 
my own affair. Come, and we will see what we can find for 
you. 

(WiL. takes up her hat and coat and they exeunt r. Tele- 
phone is heard to ring. Rings again. Jessie enters R., 
crosses stage. Exits c.) 

Jessie {outside). Hello ! Yes'm. Just a minute, please. 
I'll speak to her. 

Enters c. with the telephone in her hand^ the cord trailing 
through the doorway. Alice enters R. 

Alice. Did I hear the telephone, Jessie ? 

Jessie. Yes, miss — ma'am. 

Alice {calling backfrotn r. doorway). Take anything you 
want, Billy. {Takes the telephone from Jessie and sits down. 
She doesn't notice that Jessie stands by c. exit listening.) 
Hello ! Yes, this is Mrs. Sterling. Oh, Mrs. Folinsbee, how 
do you do? Oh, can't you? I'm so sorry. I can't tell you 
how sorry. Oh, no, of course you can't help it, but it's a ter- 
rible disappointment to us all. Where? {Pause.) Yes, it is 
too bad. You are leaving to-night? Then I shall not see you 
at all ? I'm so sorry ! Yes, thank you. Good-bye ! (Jessie 
exits quickly as Alice rises.) Oh-o-o-o ! 



HER FIRST ASSIGNMENT "J 

{Walks up and down the room.') 

WiL. {outside). Allie ! Allie ! Fasten me up, will you? 
{Enters r.) I'm a sight for sore eyes ! {She wears a dress 
ivith a train. Tiie dress is a trifle too long in front. She 
holds it up with one hand and together in the back with the 
other. She stops suddenly when she sees Alice.) Why, what's 
the matter, dear ? 

Alice. Oh, Billy, the worst has happened ! Mrs. Folins- 
bee isn't coming ! 

WiL. Well, does that queer the festive tea-drinking ? Who 
is she ? A song and dance speciality, or chief tea- maker of the 
"smart set"? 

Alice. I forgot that you didn't know about Mrs. Folinsbee. 
She is a writer. 

WiL. Another ? ( Vainly tries to fasten her dress in the 
back.) It's positively dreadful the number of people who try 
to write ! There ought to be a law for the suppression of intel- 
lectual freaks. 

( Gives up trying to fasten her dress. Drops into a chair 
a?id regards Alice with a resigned air. ) 

Alice. She is a friend of Richard's, or rather her husband 
is. She's passing through the city on her way to some dreadful 
convention. It seems that it is next to an impossibility to get 
her to attend a social affair. Richard thought it would be a 
distinction for me to have her and introduce her to the "set," 
so he invited her. I invited the "set" to meet Mrs. Folins- 
bee, and no Mrs. Folinsbee for them to meet. Nice state of 
affairs. 

WiL. Oh, give them plenty of tea and lettuce sandwiches, 
and they won't mind. 

Alice. Oh, won't they? A lot you know about it ! They 
will mind, but in a way you little dream of. My dear friends 
will just gloat over me because she isn't here. Especially that 
hateful Frances Kidder. I heard that she was crazy over 
Richard last season, and now she has it in for me. 

WiL. I hate to disturb your mental anguish, but it is get- 
ting late. Would you mind hooking me up? I'm not sure 
that this gown is going to be a fit. 

Alice. Forgive me, Billy. I'm utterly selfish. 

{Fastens her dress.) 



8 HER FIRST ASSIGNMENT 

WiL. You're a perfect dear. If 1 could see Mrs. Folinsbee, 
I would express my opiuioii in no uncertain terms. 

Alice. Oh, she isn't to blame. She had to disappoint some 
one else, too. Billy, you look perfectly great ! I never looked 
half as well in that dress. 

WiL. {looking in glass). Goodness! I do look rather classy, 
that's a fact. 1 wouldn't know myself. 

Alice. I'll get you a hat. \^Exit, r. 

WiL. {posing in f?-ont of ??iirror ; takes her dress up in 
front ; dances across stage toward Q. exit ; sings). '* Remem- 
ber, Mr. Johnson, I'se a lady ! " (Jessie enters c. Regards 
her in astonishmoit.') You look as if I was ** your father's 
spirit." Didn't you ever see a lady before? 

Jessie (walki/ig toward r. exit). Not like you, miss. I've 
been working for Mrs. Craig-Winter. [^Exit. 

WiL. Holy smoke! (Grabs a sofa pillow.) I'll disturb 
your equilibrium for once ! ( Throws pillow and hits Alice 
as she efiters with a hat and a lorg7iette.) Alice, my dear 
girl, I'm so sorry ! 

Alice. What are you doing, Billy ? 

WiL. That was intended for your maid as a gentle reminder 
of Mrs. Craig-Winter. 

Alice. I shouldn't say she needed any reminder. Try 
this. {Places hat on Wil.'s head.) Perfect! Oh, Billy, 
you're a dream. I wish I was as pretty as you. 

WiL. As me? You dear innocent, you beat me all out and 
out. (Alice hands her the lorgnette.) Ah, pahdon me, what 
name did I understand ? Sterling ? Charmed, I'm sure, my 
deah. (Shakes hafids in the air. Trails across the room.) 

Alice. Billy, how you act ! 

WiL. {sitting down with a sweep of her train, regarding her 
sister through the lorgnette with mild surprise). Act? I'm 
afraid I don't understand. 

Alice. Your hostess needn't be afraid that you will be 
taken for a reporter. You could pass for any one under the sun. 

WiL. {languidly). Thanks, my deah ! 

Alice {suddenly). Oh, Billy, 1 have the most brilliant idea. 
Pose for my guests as some celebrity ! 

WiL. {droppifig her dignity). Why, Alice, have you lost 
your senses ? 

Alice. Oh, Billy, please ! You could do it just as easy. 
Why, you could be Mrs. Folinsbee ! My guests never saw 
you ! They never saw her ! 



HER FIRST ASSIGNMENT 9 

WiL. For goodness' sake, Alice ! I never heard anything 
so absurd ! Some of them would be sure to meet Mrs. Folins- 
bee sooner or later. Then what would you say when they be- 
gan to ask you awkward questions ? 

Alice. Tell them you were a different Mrs. Folinsbee. 

WiL. I guess that wouldn't be any fairy tale. 

Alice. Then, you will do it? 

WiL. Why, Alice, of course I can't do it. I'd be glad to 
help you, but it is a wild scheme. Anyway, I must start for 
Mrs. Ferncroft's this minute. {Rises quickly.') 

Alice. Ferncroft? {Thifiks for a minute.) My goodness, 
Billy, wasn't it Mrs. Folinsbee that you were to meet at Mrs. 
Ferncroft's ? 

WiL. {regarding her blankly for a second^ then suddenly re- 
membering'). It sure was ! 

Alice. Well, she isn't going to be there. When she tele- 
phoned she said she was due at Mrs. Ferncroft's after she had 
been here, and she would have to disappoint her, too. I 
thought Ferncroft sounded familiar, but I couldn't remember 
where I had heard it. 

WiL. {explosively). Jiminy crickets ! Have I lost my first 
assignment ? 

Alice. Looks like it. It's a shame, dear. 

WiL. (thifikiiig deeply). Alice, the editor said the other 
day that he wanted reporters who, when they couldn't get news, 
could make it. You can introduce me to your guests as 
Mrs. Folinsbee. This afternoon I am going to "make" 
news. 

Alice {alarmed). Billy, you must be careful ! You 
mustn't do anything reckless. 

WiL. Oh, who's afraid now? Alice, this is my first 
chance, and I'm going to prove to that editor that I'm a good 
thing if the sky falls. {Bell rings.) 

Alice. Oh, dear, they are beginning to come ! Oh, Billy, 
why did I ever propose such a crazy thing ? I — I — really wasn't 
in earnest. I'm scared perfectly speechless ! 

WiL. Say, Alice, what have I ever written ? 

Alice {dazed). Why, nothing yet, have you? 

VViL. Oh, Alice, come out of it ! What has Mrs. Folinsbee 
written ? 

Alice {helplessly). Oh — er — why — I don't know, really. 
Books, I suppose. That's what people usually write, isn't it ? 

WiL. Hush ! 



10 HER FIRST ASSIGNMENT 

(Jessie comes to door c. Fraijces Kidder enters.") 

Alice [pulling herself together with an effort ) . Miss Kid- 
der, I'm very glad to see you. 

Fran. And 1 to see you, my deah Mrs. Sterling. 
Alice. Miss Kidder, let me present Mrs. Folinsbee. 

( Chokes over the 7iatne. Jessie gazes in astonishment,) 

Fran. I'm so charmed, Mrs. Folinsbee. 

WiL. (droppi?ig her handkerchief as she rises to greet Fran.). 
Delight-^^, I'm sure. 

Fran, {turning to Alice). It was so delightful of you, Mrs. 
Sterling, to give your friends a chance to meet Mrs. Folinsbee. 

{As she moves across the stage toward a chair ^ Jessie darts 
forward and picks up handkerchief.) 

Jessie. Your handkerchief, Mrs. Folinsbee. 

{Bell rings. Jessie ^;c//.f c.) 

Alice {in a quick aside to Wil.). Good heavens ! We 
reckoned without Jessie ! 

Fran. Do you know, Mrs. Folinsbee, I imagined that you 
were years older. Gray hair and glasses — rather eccentric, you 
know. You don't look a bit intellectual. 

Wil. Really? 

Fran. But I fully realize how wonderful you are. I would 
give a good deal to understand Bernard Shaw as you do. How 
can you tell whether he is serious or satirical ? 

Wil. Oh, it is quite simple. He writes such sweet little 
things. 

Fran. Sweet ? 

Wil. Yes. Don't you think so? (Jessie cofnes to door c. 
Fran, turns toward the door . Wil. to KiAQ^iti a swift aside.) 
For the love of Mike, talk ! I never read one of Shaw's plays 
in my life ! 

Enter Jacinth Carlysle, c. 

Alice {greeting Jac). Miss Carlysle, I'm so glad you 
could come this afternoon. 

Jac So am I, Mrs. Sterling. {Greets Fran.) Ah, 
Frances ! 

Alice {introducing Wil.). Mrs. Folinsbee. 



HER FIRST ASSIGNMENT II 

Jac. Mrs. Folinsbee, Tm so pleased to meet you. Of 
course you get tired of hearing the praises of your work forever 
sounded, but 1 must tell you how much 1 admire your views of 
Bernard Shaw. 

WiL. Very kind of you to say so, I'm sure. 

Jac. (as she sits dowti). Well, Frances, 1 haven't seen you 
since your delightful luncheon. 

Alice. And it was delightful. I haven't enjoyed anything 
more since I came here. 

Fran. Very charming of you, Mrs. Sterling. I'm glad it 
was delightful. It ought to be something nice to console me 
for the unfortunate outcome of the affair. 

Jac. Unfortunate outcome ? 

Alice. Why, what do you mean, Miss Kidder? 

Fran. You haven't heard ? 

^"^^^^^^itogether^. No! 

Fran. Perhaps you noticed the little individual bonbon 
holders ? 

Jac. Why, we couldn't very well help noticing them, 
could we? 

Alice. They are the dearest things [ ever saw. I was per- 
fectly crazy over mine. 

Fran. Well, some one must have shared your opinion. 
Nine of them were stolen that very afternoon. 

y \ (together). Stolen ? 

Fran. I don't wonder that you are horrified. It's the most 
extraordinary thing. Nothing else in the dining-room was 
touched. And why were nine stolen ? While he or she 
(with a look as of being able to tell volumes') was about it I 
should think it would have been just as easy to have taken the 
whole dozen. (Jac. is decidedly uneasy and Alice sits as if 
turned to stofie.) Pardon me, Mrs. Folinsbee, this must be 
anything but entertaining for you. 

VViL. (^giving Alice a queer look). I assure you I am very 
much interested. Did I understand you to say bonbon 
holders ? 

Fran. Yes. Solid gold, set with tiny stones. Imported, 
you know. A birthday gift from my father and I never had 
anything I prized more. 

Jac. Are — are you making efforts to recover them ? 

Fran. I should say I am. I have a private detective em- 



12 HER FIRST ASSIGNMENT 

ployed. Of course at first I suspected a servant, but I was 
never more mistaken. One of the holders has already been 
traced, and you wouldn't believe me if I should tell you where 
it is. 

(Jessie co7nes to door c. Mrs. Stevens and Mrs. Craig- 
WiNTER enter,') 

Mrs. S. {talking very rapidly, hardly breathifig between sen- 
tences). How do you do, Mrs. Sterling ? I have taken the 
liberty of bringing Mrs. Winter with me. (Alice ?7iakes several 
efforts to greet Mrs. W. Gives up in despair and waits for 
Mrs. S. to finish.) I know you will forgive me when I tell 
you that both Mr. and Mrs. Winter are especial friends of your 
husband. Mrs. Winter has been in the south several months 
and has just returned to us, and I simply couldn't resist the 
temptation of bringing her here this afternoon. After you 
have become well acquainted with Mrs. Winter you will under- 
stand what it has meant to us to have her away for months, and 
what it means to have her back again. 

Alice. I am very glad to welcome you, Mrs. Winter, not 
only for your sake and my husband's, but I am very sure for my 
own. 

Mrs. W. That is exceedingly kind, Mrs. Sterling. I can 
assure you that I hated to intrude. 

Mrs. S. I can testify to that. Certainly I begged and 
pleaded and almost went down on my knees before she would 
listen 

Alice (desperately ; interrupti7ig a?iother flow of conversa- 
tioti). Mrs. Stevens, I want you to meet Mrs. Folinsbee. 

{As Mrs. S. goes to Wil., Jac. and Fran, greet Mrs. W. 
with delight. Aiace Joins them and they talk together.) 

Mrs. S. Mrs. Folinsbee, I can't tell you how pleased I am 
to meet you. When I heard that you were to be here, 1 broke 
three engagements, for I wanted the whole afternoon to talk to 
a woman who has such erroneous ideas of Bernard Shaw. I 
thought it was my duty to come here and tell you that you are 
entirely mistaken in your opinion. When I read your latest, 
my blood fairly congealed in my veins. I told Mr. Stevens 
that without a question Mrs. Folinsbee was on her way to the 
insane asylum. 

Wil. Perhaps that is where she has gone. 



HER FIRST ASSIGNMENT 



13 



Mrs. S. {regarding her In amazement). I beg your pardon ? 
Alice {coming to VVil.'s rescue). Mrs. Folinsbee, let me 
present Mrs. Winter. 

(Mrs. S. iooks annoyed but joins Jac. and Fran, and begins 
a long discourse without giving them a chance to speak. ) 

Mrs. W. Mrs. Folinsbee, I actually intruded here this 
afternoon for the sake of meeting you. I would go a long 
ways to shake hands with a woman whose ideas of Bernard 
Shaw coincide so perfectly with my own. 

WiL. Charming of you, I'm sure. So delightful to think 
that we agree. Did I understand that your name is Winter ? 

Mrs. W. Yes. 

WiL. Is it by any chance Mrs. Craig-V^'mitr} 

Mrs. W. It surely is. Why do you ask ? 

WiL. Why — er — I heard some one speaking of you not long 
ago. 

Mrs. W. (delighted). Really, Mrs. Folinsbee ? Who was 
it? 

WiL. Now let me see if I can recall. I have such a poor 
memory for such things. Well, never mind. No doubt it will 
come to me before you depart. 

Enter Jessie, r. She has a card in her hand. 

Jessie. I beg your pardon, Mrs. Folinsbee. {She hesitates. 
Mrs. W. withdraws.) You had a message from a newspaper. 
I wrote it down because I told them you was occupied and 
couldn't come to the 'phone. 

WiL. {faking the card). Very clever of you, Jessie. I 
didn't know you could be so wise. 

Jessie. Well, miss, I hope I worked long enough for 
Mrs. 

WiL. {interrupting). Jessie, who was that lady I was talk- 
ing with when you came in ? 

Jessie. My stars, I don't know ! 

WiL. You never saw her before ? 

Jessie. No, miss, I never did ! 

WiL. Eureka ! {Laughs in Jessie's /^^^.) Jessie, it is too 
bad to shock your nervous system this way. You never saw 
such ''carryings on " before, did you ? 

Jessie. No, miss, I never did ! I can assure you Mrs. 
Craig- Winter never had anything like it in her house. 



14 HER FIRST ASSIGNMENT 

WiL. Didn't she ? You must feel the change in your posi- 
tion keenly. (Wil. iuriis away. Jessie exits, haughtily. 
VViL. reads card.) " Mrs. Folinsbee is not at Mrs. Ferncroft's. 
Ring up the office as soon as convenient." Mr. Editor, your 
news is somewhat stale. 

Jac. {suddenly breaking away from Mrs. S., and walking 
to a table). Mrs. Sterling, are these flowers from Richard's con- 
servatory ? 

Alice. Yes. I think the conservatory is one of the most 
charming features of this house. You know flowers are 
Richard's hobby. Wouldn't you like to go and see them ? 

All. Oh, may we ? Delightful ! Charming ! 

Alice. Come this way. 

{All exeunt c, talking as they go. Bell rings. Jessie enters 
R. ; exits c. ; returns. Mary Stoddard and Madge 
Hastings enter. Madge slips off her coat and hafids 
it to Jessie as she enters.) 

Madge. You said Mrs. Sterling and her guests were in the 
conservatory ? 

Jessie. Yes'm. I'll speak to her. [Exit, c. 

Mary. Isn't that just hke Mrs. Sterling? 

Madge. Yes. I love to come here. You feel so free to go 
all over the house if you choose. 

Mary. Do you know, Mrs. Sterling drops a remark once in 
a while that makes me think she has not always been accus- 
tomed to a home like this. 

Madge. It doesn't make any difference what she has been 
accustomed to, she is a dear ! 

Mary. She is all of that. Have some violets ? 

{Offers her a tiny gold bonbon holder.) 

Madge {accepting a violet and placing it in her mouth). 
Thanks. Frances' souvenir ? 

Mary. Yes; aren't they dreams? 

Madge. They certainly are. Frances outdid herself for 
once, but I wouldn't for worlds give her the satisfaction of 
knowing that I use mine. 

Mary. I don't use mine when she is looking. Let's go to 
the conservatory instead of waiting here. 

Madge. All right. Mrs. Sterling will not care. 

Mary. Not in the least. 



HER FIRST ASSIGNMENT I5 

{They exeunt c. Alice enters r. Jessie enters c.) 

Jessie. I was looking for you, miss — ma'am, I mean. Some 
more ladies came. They must have gone to the conservatory, 
I guess. I told them you was there. 

Alice. Very well. Oh, Jessie, I — I suppose you are 
rather surprised at what you have seen this afternoon ? My 
sister appearing as Mrs. Folinsbee ? 

Jessie. Well, I never saw anything like it at Mrs. Craig- 
Winter's. 

Alice. Probably not. Well, we have our reasons for what 
we are doing. Of course you understand that I don't wish it 
talked of. (^Glances cautiously toward the door.) Jessie, you 
know those little bonbon holders that you admire so much? 

Jessie. The gold ones on the buffet ? 

Alice. Yes. You can have them if you like. 

Jessie. All three ? 

Alice. Yes. Get them now ! Take them to your room. 
I don't want my guests admiring them if 1 am not going to use 
them myself. 

Jessie (very much surprised). T-thank you, Mrs. Sterling. 
You're very kind. 

Alice (dryly'). Don't mention it. 

(Jessie exits r. Wil. enters c.) 

WiL. Alice ! 

Alice. Oh, Billy, how you startled me. I'm so nervous ! 

Wil. I should think you might be. Alice, will you explain 
how three of Miss Kidder's bonbon holders happen to be on 
the buffet in your dining-room ? 

Alice. Why, I put them there, of course, when I returned 
from her luncheon. 

Wil. I'm afraid that I don't quite understand. 

Alice (impatiently). Why, 1 thought they were souvenirs. 

Wil. Souvenirs ? 

Alice. Yes. It sounds ridiculous, I know, but I couldn't 
have been the only one to make the mistake, as nine were 
taken. Every luncheon I have been to we were given a souvenir 
of some kind. These holders were where the souvenirs are 
usually placed. To be sure, no one said anything about them, 
but Frances is so unpopular that her guests wouldn't say a 
word if she presented each one with a touring car; besides, I 
saw — some one take one, and — and I just made a mistake. 



l6 HER FIRST ASSIGNMENT 

WiL. Then why don't you tell her so ? 

Alice {dramatically^. Tell her ? . Tell Frances Kidder that 
I thought her ''solid gold, imported, highly prized gift from 
her father" was souvenirs? Oh, no! She would spread the 
story far and wide that I stole mine, got scared off, and re- 
turned it with a trumped up excuse-. Frances will never see 
her holders again. Not one in the party will dare to rectify 
her mistake. Why, Frances would give the story to the news- 
paper and then claim that it leaked out through a servant. 

WiL. Why, Alice, I think you are prejudiced. She doesn't 
look that kind of a girl. 

Alice. No, she doesn't, I'll admit, but she is the worst I 
ever met. She is like a treacherous kitten — soft and pretty 
with claws that will scratch your eyes out. {Walks to the 
door^ c.) Miss Carlysle is coming. I want to talk with her. 
Do go and keep the others from coming back here. For pity's 
sake remember that you are a star attraction and do your best 
for me ! 

WiL. All right. I'll do what I can but I wish to goodness 
that I knew what I have written. ( Walks to the door. Turns 
back.) By the way, don't you think it would be a good idea 
to have the souvenirs removed from the buffet before Miss 
Kidder enters the dining-room ? 

Alice. Oh, don't worry ! I have looked out for that. 

[Exit WiL., R. 

Enter Jac, C. 

J AC. Oh, Alice ! I beg your pardon, Mrs. Sterling. 

Alice. Please don't, Jacinth. I'm so pleased to have you 
call me Alice. I feel so much better acquainted with you than 
any of the other girls. 

Jac. Good. I hoped you felt that way. Alice, Frances' 
story of her bonbon holders has upset me somewhat. Did you 
notice the expression on her face when she said that one of 
them had been traced ? 

Alice. Jacinth, I may as well tell you the truth. I know 
that you have one. I saw you take it. Of course you thought 
it was a souvenir. 

Jac. I'm so relieved that you understand. Have you any 
idea where any of the others are? 

Alice. Well, I had three ! I gave them all away ! 

Jac. Three ? 

Alice. Yes. The young lady next to me didn't take hers. 



HER FIRST ASSIGNMENT 1 7 

I thought she didn't care for it. I did! Some one dropped 
one on the stairs, therefore I had three, which 1 feel quite sure 
is two more than any other lady in the party can boast of. 

Jac. What in the world are we going to do? Alice, I 
don't like to prejudice you against any one in our set, but do 
you understand how impossible it is to try to explain to Frances ? 
Especially for you to explain ? Alice, Frances Kidder used to 
like your husband exceedingly well, and she is just waiting her 
chance to do something disagreeable. There, it's out, and I 
feel better. 

Alice. I have heard a good deal and what I haven't heard 
I can guess at. 

Jac. Every girl who was at that hateful luncheon must be 
warned at once. 

Alice (jmeasily). I mustn't stay away from my guests so 
long. Let us return to them now and we can have another 
talk later. 

{They exeunt c. Jessie enters r., with the three holders in 
her hands. The bell rings. She places the holders on the 
table. Exits c. Returns with Mrs. Folinsbee.) 

Jessie. Mrs. Sterling and the ladies are in the conservatory. 

Mrs. F. Will you speak to Mrs. Sterling ? Kindly tell her 
that Mrs. Folinsbee has arrived. 

Jessie (startled). Excuse me, ma'am. The name again, 
please. 

Mrs. F. (very distinctly^. Folinsbee. 

Jessie. I will Oh, here is Mrs. Sterling. 

Enter Alice, c. 

Mrs. F. I have arrived at last, Mrs. Sterling. 

Alice (looking at her uncertainly'). I'm very glad to see 
you, I'm sure. 

WiL. (entering R. hurriedly'). Oh, Alice ! Oh, pardon 
me. 

Alice (to Mrs. F.). Let me present Mrs. Folinsbee. 

(Mrs. F. gazes at Wil. in astonishment.) 

Wil. Delight-^^./ 

Mrs. F. Thank you. May I inquire if you are the Mrs. 
Folinsbee who has such extraordinary views of Bernard Shaw? 
Wil. (resignedly). I certainly have that distinction. 



l8 HER FIRST ASSIGNMENT 

Mrs. F. {with a peculiar smile). Well, you can't imagine 
how pleased 1 am to meet you. 

{They talk together.) 

Alice {who has been watching the?n anxiously, detains 
Jessie). Jessie, do you know who this lady is? 

Jessie. I can't say that I do, miss — ma'am. 

Alice. It's exceedingly awkward. I can't recall who she 
is. She seemed to know me, but I can't remember that I have 
ever even seen her before. 

Jessie. It's too bad I can't help you. I never was called 
upon for that kind of service. Mrs. Craig-Winter always 
knew who she was entertaining. [^Exit, r. 

Mrs. F. Mrs. Sterling, it is indeed a treat for me to have 
the privilege of meeting Mrs. Folinsbee. I am intensely inter- 
ested in Bernard Shaw, and I have been longing to talk with 
some one who thoroughly understands him. {Turns to Wil.) 
Do tell me, Mrs. Folinsbee, in which play do you think he 
reached the highest point of his art ? 

VViL. Well, really, I shouldn't dare to say. 

{Gives Alice a desperate look.) 

Alice. Er — my other guests are in the conservatory. 
Couldn't we discuss Mr. Shaw out there? 
Mrs. F. With pleasure. 

( They exeunt c. Slight pause. Mary, Madge atid Jag. 
enter c.) 

Madge. What in the world ails you, Jacy ? I didn't want 
to come back in here. 

Mary. You look as if you had discovered something new 
in a Marcel wave. What has happened ? 

Jac. Listen, girls. Frances' souvenirs were not souvenirs. 

Madge. What's the joke ? 

Mary {taking out her holder and looking at it). Yes, ex- 
plain. I'm afraid the point is a trifle obscure. 

Jac. You won't think it is any joke. {Sees the holder in 
Mary's hand.) For pity's sake, put that out of sight ! You'll 
be arrested if you aren't carefnl. Those holders were a birth- 
day gift to Frances from her father. She says that she thinks 
nine of them were stolen the afternoon of the luncheon. Any- 



HER FIRST ASSIGNMENT I9 

way, she has a private detective working and has traced one 
of her precious holders. 

Madge. How do you know ? 

Jac. She told us when she first came in. 

Mary. Well, if that isn't like Frances Kidder ! {Looks at 
her holder in disgust.') We might have known these weren't 
souvenirs. Frances is too mean to present her guests with 
Lincoln pennies ! 

Madge. We must get rid of those things as soon as we can. 

Jac. I should say we must. (Alice enters c.) Alice has 
got rid of hers already. 

Mary. You're in luck, Mrs. Sterhng. 

Alice. Yes, I am fortunate. Do any of you know who 
that lady is — the distinguished looking one? The last one 
who arrived ? 

Mary. I don't. 

(Madge shakes her head.) 

Jac. I never saw her before. 

Alice. I never felt so ridiculous in my life. I've met so 
many ladies since I came here that I simply can't keep them 
all in mind. Usually I remember the face if not the name, 
but in this case I can't remember the face. It's strange that 
no one knows her. 

Mary. Don't you think she acts odd? I only saw her for 
a second but it seemed to me that she regarded every one with 
suspicion. 

Madge. She looked to me as if she was dying to laugh. 

Jac. She sticks to Mrs. Folinsbee like a burr. 

Alice. Yes, driving her crazy with questions about Ber- 
nard Shaw. 

Mary. My goodness, I know who she is ! 

All. Who? 

Mary. Frances' private detective ! 

All {murmuring). Oh, really, impossible ! 

Alice. You don't actually think so? 

Mary. I actually do ! 

Jac. It would be just like Frances to get her here this after- 
noon. 

Alice {indignantly). If I thought she was a detective ! 

Jac. {hastily). Well, of course you don't really know ! 

Madge. Don't say anything yet, but watch ! 

Mary. Get her in here ! 



20 HER FIRST ASSIGNMENT 

Alice. All right. We will have some tea right away. I'll 
just go and see if everything is ready. [^JSxty, r. 

Mary. Well, if this isn't a disgusting state of affairs ! 

Madge {discovers the bonbon holders on the table). Girls, 
look! 

{They go to the table.) 

Mary. Mercy ! 

Jac. Where did they come from ? 

Madge. Listen ! Some one is coming. {Runs to door c. ; 
tragically.) It's Frances and Mrs. Stevens ! 

(Mary grabs the holders ^ puts them in a chair and sits on 
them. Looks up at Jac. and says as Fran, and Mrs. S. 
enter c.) 

Mary. No, I don't agree with you at all. The best play 
that Maude Adams ever appeared in was ''Peter Pan." 

Fran. For pity's sake, change the subject ! Mrs. Folins- 
bee and that last lady who arrived have talked Bernard Shaw 
until my head swims. 

Mrs. S. You mean the woman has talked. Who is she ? 
Does any one know ? Well, whoever she is, she is exceedingly 
ill-bred. Poor Mrs. Folinsbee hasn't been able to get a word 
in edge-wise. I can't abide a woman who is always expressing 
her opinions and monopolizing the conversation. Now to my 
mind, a conversation which is a success should be one in which 
every one has a share. Don't you agree with me? 

All {emphatically). We do ! 

Mrs. S. I knew you would. Where is Mrs. Sterling? 
You know, I haven't had six words with her this afternoon, al- 
though as far as that goes I never have many words with her. 
She isn't much of a talker. She just seems to stand and listen 
to me. Strange for a hostess to be absent so much. {To 
Madge.) Where did you say she was ? 

Madge. I didn't say, but she is making the tea, I think. 

Mrs. S. Tea? Merciful heaven, don't mention tea! 
Were any of you at Mrs. Malone's yesterday? No, you 
weren't, I know. Well, she had some new kind of tea-cakes. 
Round, dark brown and very hard, with the most outlandish 
name. As near as I could make out it was *' Crumbtickle- 
puffs." 



HER FIRST ASSIGNMENT 21 

Fran. Were they good ? 

Mrs. S. Good ? They were the most heathenish things ! 
Nothing on this earth, above or below it, ever tasted like them ! 
Well, I ate eleven and 

Jac. Eleven ? 

Mary. Of the crumbtickle-things ? 

Mrs. S. Yes. I simply had to. I read a paper at the 
club and by the time I reached Mrs, Malone's I was famished. 
Well, of course I had company to dinner last night, or rather 
Mr. Stevens had company, so 1 had to eat. 1 don't know why 
it is that your husband's friends are always so uninteresting. I 
thought they would never go and that I should certainly die be- 
fore they did go. Well, after they finally departed I took five 
tablets. All different. You would naturally think that out of 
five kinds, one at least would give me some relief. Well, it 
didn't, and after I went to bed I had the most extraordinary 
sensation. I felt exactly as if my stomach was on the pillow 
and my head down in the bed somewhere. 

{Enter Mrs. W., Mrs. F. atid^NiL., c.) 

Mrs. W. Mrs. Folinsbee is actually beaten at her own 
game. She has learned something about Bernard Shaw that 
she never knew before. 

WiL. (devoutly). I certainly have ! 

Jessie (coming to door r.). Mrs. Sterling would like to have 
you ladies come out this way. [^Exii. 

Mrs. S. (making a dive for Wil. aiid taking her by the 
ami). My dear Mrs. Folinsbee, at last I can have you to myself 
for a little while. 

( They exeunt. Jac. a7id Mrs. W. start to follow^ 

Mrs. W. {to Mary). Aren't you coming, Mary? 

Mary. No, I don't care for tea this afternoon. 

Madge. Nor I. (Motions to Jac. to go.) 

Mrs. W. (looking surprised). How odd ! 

Jac. (pulling Mrs. W. along). Never mind. Mary is odd 
sometimes. [They exeunt. 

Mary (rising). Well, I have sat on things that were more 
comfortable. 

Madge. What are you going to do ? 

Mary. Hide them until we can tell Mrs. Sterling that they 
are here. (She puts them under the cushion of the chair.) 
Now let's go out for some tea. 



22 HER FIRST ASSIGNMENT 



Madge. Why, you said 



Mary. My dear Madge, did you never hear that women 
are privileged to change their minds ? 

Madge. Well, I'm glad you have changed yours, for I am 
starved. 

(Madge exits r. Mary starts to follow. Turns back as 
Jessie enters c.) 

Mary. Jessie, ever since that day I stepped on my gown 
and you mended it for me so nicely, I have intended to show 
you my appreciation. So to-day I brought you this little trifle. 

{Takes out her bonbon holder and gives it to her.) 

Jessie {taking it and gazi?ig at it in astonishment), 
Th-ank you. That was very kind of you, Miss Stoddard. 

Mary. Not at all. [Exit, r. 

Jessie {still regarding the holder). Well, I never ! {Goes 
to table i discovers that the others are not there.) Why, where ? 

{Begins to look for them. Madge enters r. Looks about 
cautiously. Doesn^t observe ]'e?,?>1'£,. Exits c. Jessie j'^<?f 
the peculiar appearance of the chair cushion, Kfieels by 
the chair. Lifts the cushion. Fitids the holders. 
Madge enters c, with the telephofie in her ha?id. Does 
not see Jessie.) 

Madge. Roxton 639-r. Yes-r. {Pause.) Hello ! Is 
that you, Bob ? What luck ! You must do something for me 
at once. Yes, this is Madge. Go up to my room. In the 
right hand side of the middle drawer of my dresser you will 
find a gold bonbon holder. Yes, I said bonbon holder ! Be 
sure that you wrap it up so that no one can see it. Cross the 
ferry and when you get out where it is good and deep, drop 
the holder overboard. Yes, I'm perfectly sane. You just bet 
it isn't any joke ! I don't care what you are doing, you must 
attend to this at once. Your sister's honor and reputation are 
at stake ! {Hangs up receiver. Jessie rises. Madge regards 
her with horror.) Jessie ! {Goes up to her.) Jessie 
{handing her a dollar bill from her coin purse), you didn't 
hear what I said. Understand ? 

Jessie {taking the bill). Certainly, ma'am. (Madge 
exits R. Jessie walks back to the chair. Regards the three 



HER FIRST ASSIGNMENT 23 

holders in the chair ^ the o?ie in her hand and the dollar bill.) 
Well, I have worked in worse places than this ! 

{Bell riftgs. Jessie hesitates a secotid ; puts the fourth 
holder in the chair with the others, places the bill on them 
and covers thetn over with the cushion ; exits c. Mary 
pulls Alice in r.) 

Mary {going up to the chair). Yes, right here. Three of 
them ! {She looks toward door as Alice lifts the cushiofi.) 

Alice. Three ? There's four and a dollar bill ! 

Mary {in astonishment). M-M-M-Mercy ! Quick, some 
one is coming ! Let's go back ! 

{Fulls Alice out r. Jac. enters q,.^ followed in a second by 
Jessie.) 

Jac. {looking about"). I thought Mrs. Sterling came in here. 
Jessie, you have always been very courteous when I have been 
here and several times done me small services. I'm going to 
send you a little gift to-night. 

Jessie {delighted). Thank you, Miss Carlysle. What is it? 

Jac. a little gold bonbon holder. \^Exit, r. 

Jessie {looking after her). Well, if that ain't the limit ! 

( Goes to chair. Takes her holders and the bill and exits c. 
Jac. and Alice enter r.) 

Jac. Yes, dear, I must go. I promised Mrs. Ferncroft. 
Alice. I'm sorry to have you leave so early. If you hear 
any more about the souvenirs, let me know. 
Jac. Yes, I will. Good-bye, dear. 
Alice. Good-bye. 

(Jac. exits c. Mary and Madge enter r.) 

Mary {looking toward the chair). Have you ? 

Alice. No. I will right now. {Lifts the cushion.) 

Madge. Why, they are gone ! 

Mary. My land ! First there were three, then four and a 
dollar, and now there aren't any at all ! 

Madge. It's that detective ! 

Alice {thinking). I don't believe so. 

Mary. I'm sure of it! Really, Mrs. Sterling, I must go ! 
My nerves are completely upset. 



24 HER FIRST ASSIGNMENT 

Madge. I think I'll be going, too. I'll come some other 
time when there isn't a detective in the party. 

Enter Fran, and Wil., r. Jessie enters c. 

Fran. Are you going ? 

Madge. Yes. 

Fran. I will go along with you. Mrs. Sterling, if you 
should hear anything about my gold bonbon holders, I beg of 
you to let me know. Good-bye. [Exit, c. 

(Madge, Mary and Alice give Jessie a frightened look. 
She tosses her head.) 

Mary {nervously). Good-bye, Mrs. Sterling. We've had 
such a perfectly lovely time. {Rushes out c.) 

Madge. Yes, delightful ! So glad to have met Mrs. Fo- 
linsbee. {Hurries after Mary.) 

Alice {to Jessie). After you have shown the ladies out I 
wish to speak to you. (Jessie exits c. After slight pause re- 
tur7is.) Jessie, you carried four holders and a dollar bill to 
your room ? 

Jessie. Yes, I did ! They were all given to me. There's 
something mighty queer about this business. I shouldn't think 
you'd expect a girl who's been working for Mrs. Craig- 
Winter 

Wil. Jessie, I have something to say to you. I would ad- 
vise you to listen carefully. You have been taking advantage 
of my sister ever since you came here, because you thought she 
was young and inexperienced. You have lied to her and de- 
ceived her from the first day. You never worked for Mrs. 
Winter in your life. You never even saw her until this after- 
noon. That young woman out there {pointing to R. exit) in 
the blue gown is Mrs. Craig- Winter. How long do you sup- 
pose you would hold your position here if Mr. Sterling knew 
about this, and what do you think would happen to you if 
Mrs. Winter knew how you had been using her name ? Now, 
listen ! There are two subjects never to be mentioned by you 
as long as you remain in the employ of my sister. One of them 
is — bonbon holders, and the other is — Mrs. Craig-Winter. 
Do you understand ? 

Jessie {ivith a gasp). Yes, Miss Gordon. 

VViL. You may go. \^Exit Jessie. 

Alice. Oh, Billy, you are a jewel ! You have saved my 



HER FIRST ASSIGNMENT 2$ 

life. (^Enter Mrs. F., Mrs. S., ^w^Mrs. W., r.) You are 
not going ? 

Mrs. S. Yes, we must. (^To Mrs. F., in an aside as Alice 
speaks to Mrs. W.) And I do hope our next hostess will stay 
with us at least five minutes at a time. {To Alice.) You see, 
dear, you have given us so much attention, and we have had 
such a charming time, we will go so that you can give all of 
your attention to the next arrivals. Dear Mrs. Folinsbee, I 
hope to meet you again. Good-bye, Mrs. Sterling. \_Exit, c. 

Mrs. W. {to Mrs. F.). Are you going on with us? 

Mrs. F. Not yet. I want to have a little talk with Mrs. 
Sterling, 

Mrs. W. Mrs. Sterling, I thank you for your hospitality to 
a stranger. 

Mrs. S. I am very glad you came, and I shall expect to see 
you often. 

Mrs. W. Thank you. Good-bye. 

Alice {coldly, to Mrs. F.). Madam, I understand why you 
are in my home. You may as well go. You will accomplish 
nothing here. 

Mrs. F. Your words are extraordinary, to say the least. I 
intend to accomplish one thing before I depart. Who is this 
young woman who is posing in my place ? 

Alice. In your place? 

Mrs. F. Yes. I am Mrs. Folinsbee. 

Alice. Merciful heaven, I thought you were an impostor ! 

WiL. Mrs. Folinsbee, this is all my fault. I am Mrs. Ster- 
ling's sister. I have been trying for weeks to get an assignment 
from a newspaper. I got my first one to-day. It was to inter- 
view you at Mrs. Ferncroft's. You are a writer. You must 
have begun down the ladder somewhere. You can guess how 
I felt when I found that you weren't to be at Mrs. Ferncroft's. 
In a moment of madness I conceived the idea of impersona- 
ting you and making some snappy news for a grouch of an 
editor. 

Alice. There aren't words in which we can apologize for 
what we have done. 

Mrs. F. Dear child, no apology is necessary. I guess I 
know a joke when I see one. I haven't had so much fnn for 
weeks. If this little girl {putting her anns around WiL.) will 
let me put her in a story, I'll forgive everything. 



26 HER FIRST ASSIGNMENT 

VViL. {giving Mrs. F. a rapturous squeeze). If you will tell 
me your opinion of Bernard Shaw. 

Mrs. F. It's a bargain. 

VViL. Oh, let me call that editor. [^Exity c. 

Mrs. F. My dear, I think I will not go on to Mrs. Fern- 
crott's. I'll stay here. I want to see Richard and congratu- 
late him upon his wife and his sister-in-law. 

Alice. Oh, Mrs. Folinsbee, I don't know what to say to 
you ! 

(WiL. enters with telephone.) 

WiL. Roxton — 679 ! Yes. {Pause.) Hello ! I want to 
talk with Mr. Macy. {Pause.) Hello ! This is Miss Gor- 
don. I'll be down before six and hand in my copy. Of 
course, I know Mrs. Folinsbee wasn't at Mrs. Ferncroft's. Do 
you suppose I would stop there ? I went where she was, and I 
can give you the whole history of her life, past, present and 
future. What ? Do you mean it ? Am 1 pleased ? Well, 
rather! Good-bye! {Jumps up and down.) I've got a po- 
sition ! On the paper ! He says I'm too good to lose I Alice, 
do you expect any more guests this afternoon ? 

Alice. Oh, yes. It is early yet. {Bell rings.) There's 
some one now. 

WiL. {re?noving her hat). Well, you will please introduce 
me as your insignificant little sister, and this lady as Mrs. Fo- 
linsbee. Bernard Shaw is one too many for me. 

Mrs. F. {laughing). You shouldn't back down that way. 
You are getting valuable experience, and some day, you know, 
you are going to be a famous newspaper woman. 

WiL. I hope your words may prove true, but one thing is 
sure. I'll never forget my first assignment. 



CURTAIN 



THE SUFFRAGETTES' CONVENTION 

An Entertainment in One Scene 

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One male, twelve females. Costumes, modern and eccentric ; scenery^ 

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CHARACTERS 
Mrs. John Yatks, presiding officer. 
Mrs. Silas Curtis, suffragette speaker, 
Mrs. Eben Altman, siffrageiie speaker, 
Mrs. Eldon Keener, aiiti- suffragette. 
Mrs. Oscar Dayton, anti-siffragette. 
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Mrs. Russell Sager, siffragette. 
Mrs. Francis Wood, suffragette. 
Silas Curtis, who becomes an ardent advocate of woman suffrage 

THE QUEEN OF HEARTS 

A High School Comedy in One Act 
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Three males, three females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, a single in 
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Price, 75 cents 

LOOK OUT FOR PAINT 

A Farce Comedy in Three Acts 

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Five males, four females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, one interior and 

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Price, 25 cents 



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A bright and up-to-date farce comedy of the liveliest type. All the parts 
good ; full of opportunity for all hands. Easy to produce and strongly 
recommended. Good tone ; might answer for schools, but is a sure hit for 
amateur theatricals. Professional stage rights reserved. Price, 2^ cents 

OUT OF TOWN 

A Comedy in Three Acts by Bell Elliot Palmer. Three males, five fe- 
males. Scene, an interior, the same for all three acts ; costumes, modern. 
Plays an hour and a half. A clever and interesting comedy, very easy to 
produce and recommended for amateur performance. All the parts good. 
A safe piece for a fastidious audience, as its theme and treatment are alike 
beyond reproach. Price, 23 cents 

GADSBY'S GIRLS 

A Farce in Three Acts by Bertha Currier Porter. Five males, four fe- 
males. Costumes, modern ; scenery, an exterior and an interior. Plays an 
hour and a half. An exceptionally bright and vivacious little piece, full 
of action. Gadsby's adventures with the fiancees of three of his friends 
are full of interest and fun. All the parts good. Well suited for high 
school performance. Price, 2^ cents 



New Plays for Female Characters 

THE PURSUIT OF THE PARSON 
A Mock Trial in One Act 

By Helen Lee Brooks 

Thirteen females and jury. Costumes of the future ; scenery unimpcr 

iant. Plays one hour. A clever and amusing picture of the days to comt' 

when the ladies will run things. Originally presented in Louisville, Ky 

Price J 2^ cents 

CHARACTERS 

Hon. Portia Blackstone, Judge. 

Madame Elizabeth Kent-Coke, Prosecuting Attorney, 

Madame Tomasia Erskine, Attorney for Defendant, 

** Dotty " Develin, the Defendant, 

Clerk of the Court, 

SherifFo 
Witnesses for the Commonwealth Witnesses for Defendant 

Miss Mehitable Simpkins, a Dr. Eleanor Ainsworth, ex^ 

spinster of uncertain age, pert Oculist and Alienist, 

Miss Nancy Ann Sims, another Mrs. Polly Posy, chum of 

spinster of doubtful age. Dotty. 

Prof. Elvira Jones-Johnson, Prof. Dolly Dimple, Professor 

Instructor of Advanced The^ of the Art of Courtship, 

Forewoman of the Jury and 
eleven jurors, 

THE TRUTH ABOUT JANE 

A Comedy in One Act 

By Alice C, Thompson 
Seven females. Costumes modern ; scenery, an easy interior. Plays 
twenty-five minutes. A very easy, bright and up-to-date piece doing 
Justice to the virtues of the «• athletic " girl. Strongly recommended. 
Fricet 1$ cents 

OYSTERS 

A Farce in One Act 

By Alice C. Thompson 
Six females. Costumes modern; scene, an easy interior. Plays 
twenty minutes. An easy and clever little play for younger girls, with 
one old maid character. A novel idea very amusingly treated. Strongly 
recommend ed. 

Price f IS cents 



New Publications 



THE HOUSE NEXT DOOR 

A Comedy in Three Acts 

By J. Hartley Manners 

Eight males, four females. Costumes modern ; scenery, two interiors, 
not difficult. Well suited for amateur performance. Plays a full evening. 
This admirable play, made popular for two seasons by Mr. J. E. Dodson's 
striking performance of its leading part, is offered for amateur performance 
at a royalty of ten dollars. All the parts are strong and exceptionally 
well contrasted. Of especial interest to Hebrew societies from its able and 
sympathetic presentment of a man of their race. 
Price, 50 cents 

CHARACTERS 

The Cotswold Family The Jacob son Family 

Sir John Cotswold, baronet. Sir Isaac Jacobson, M. P. 

Margaret, his wife. Rebecca, his wife. 

Ulrica, his daughter, Esther, his daughter, 

Cecil, his son. Adrian, his son. 

ViNiNG, his servant. Maximilian, his servant. 

Capt. the Hon. Clive Trevor. Walter Lewis, musical agent, 

SYNOPSIS 
ACT I 

Scene. — Morning room in Sir John Cotswold's house in the 
Cotswold Park Estate, Kensington, London. 

ACTH 
Scene. — Drawing-room in Sir Isaac Jacobson*s house. Next 
Door. The same afternoon. 

ACT III 
Scene.— Same as Act I. Three days later. 



MARRYING BELINDA 

A Farce in One Act 

By Grace Cooke Strong 

Four males, four females. Costumes modern ; scenery, an easy interior. 
Plays thirty minutes. An easy and entertaining little play exactly suited 
for amateur acting in schools or elsewhere. Just the sort of thing half 
way between farce and comedy that is best liked. Well recommended. 
Price t IS cents 



THE ELOPEMENT OF ELLEN 

A Farce Comedy in Three Acts by Marie J. Warren. Four males, 
three females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, one interior and one exte- 
rior. PJays an hour and a half. A bright and ingenious little play, ad- 
mirably suited for amateur acting. Written for and originally produced 
by Wellesley College girls. Strongly recommended. 
Priccy 2J cents 

A VIRGINIA HEROINE 

A Comedy in Three Acts by Susie G. McGlone. Eleven female char- 
acters. Scenery, easy; costumes, modern. Plays one hour and forty-five 
minutes. Irish and Negro comedy parts, and two character parts ; most 
of the characters young. A very easy and interesting play for girls, well 
suited for school performance. Romantic interest with lots of comedy. 
Price, 2S cents 

OUR CHURCH FAIR 

A Farcical Entertainment in Two Acts by Jessie A. Kelley. Twelve 
females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, unimportant. Plays an hour and 
a quarter. A humorous picture of the planning of the annual church fair 
Dy the ladies of the sewing circle. Full of local hits and general human 
nature, and a sure laugh-producer in any community. Can be recom- 
mended. Pricet 2j cents 

ALL CHARLEY'S FAULT 

A Farce in Two Acts by Anthony E. Wills. Six males, three females. 
Scenery, an easy interior ; costumes, modern. Plays two hours. A very 
lively and laughable piece, full of action and admirably adapted for ama- 
teur performance. Dutch and Negro comedy characters. Plays very 
rapidly with lots of incident and not a dull moment. Strongly recom- 
mended. P^ice, 75 cents 

HOW THE STORY GREW 

An Entertainment for Women's Clubs in One Act by O. W. Gleason. 
Eight female characters. Costumes, modern ; scenery, unimportant ; may 
be given on a platform without any. Plays forty-five minutes. A very 
easy and amusing little piece, full of human nature and hitting off a well- 
known peculiarity of almost any community. Written for middle-aged 
women, and a sure hit with the audience. Price, /j cents 

THE COUNTRY DOCTOR 

A Comedy Drama in Four Acts by Arthur Lewis Tubbs. Six males, five 
females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two interiors. Plays two hours. 
Easy to stage and full of interest. The female parts are the stronger, being 
exceptionally good. Negro and " hayseed " comedy parts. A very strong 
dramatic piece. Can be recommended. Price, 23 cents 



WILLOWDALE 

A Play in Three Acts by Arthur Lewis Tubbs. Seven males, five fe- 
males. Scenery, two easy interiors ; costumes, modern. This is a play of 
exceptional interest and power. Admirably suited for amateur perform- 
ance, all the parts being good. Godfrey is an admirable heavy part, Joel, 
Lem and Simon capital character parts. Mis' Hazey a novel eccentric bit, 
and Oleander a part of screaming comedy. Plays two hours and a quarter. 
Price^ 2^ cents 

THE VILLAGE SCHOOL MA'AM 

A Play in Three Acts by Arthur Lewis Tubbs. Six males, five females. 
Costumes, modern ; scenes, an interior and an exterior, or can be played in 
two interiors. Plays two hours or more. Combines a strong sympathetic 
interest with an abundance of comedy. The parts are unusually equal in 
opportunity, are vigorously drawn and easily actable. No dialect parts, 
but plenty of variety in the comedy roles and lots of amusing incident. 
Can be strongly recommended. Price^ s^ cents 

BAR HAVEN 

A Comedy in Three Acts by Gordan V. May. Six males, five females. 
Costumes, modern ; scenery, two interiors and an exterior, not difficult. 
Plays two hours. An excellent piece, mingling a strongly serious interest 
with abundant humor. Offers a great variety of good parts of nearly 
equal opportunity. Admirably suited for amateur performance, and 
strongly recommended. Price, 2^ cents 

DOWN IN MAINE 

A Drama in Four Acts by Charles Townsend. Eight male, four female 
characters. This play has no villains, no tangled plot nor sentimental 
love scenes; yet the climaxes are strong, the action brisk, and the humor 
genial, and the characters strongly drawn. Can be played in any hall ; 
scenery, of the easiest sort. Properties, few and simple ; costumes, 
modern. Plays a full evening. Strongly recommended. Pricey z^ cents 

HIGBEE OF HARVARD 

A Comedy Drama in Three Acts by Charles Townsend. Five males, 
four females. Modern costumes ; scenes, two interiors and an exterior — 
the latter may be played as well in an interior, if preferred. Plays a full 
evening. A clever, up-to-date piece, well suited for amateur performance. 
No small parts; all good. Good plot, full of incident, no love-making, 
interest strong and sustained. Price, /j cents 

HOW JIM MADE GOOD 

A Comedy Drama in Four Acts by Charles S. Bird, Seven males, 
three females ; two male parts can be doubled. Costumes, modern ; 
scenery, three interiors. Plays two hours. An unusually sympathetic 
play, well suited to amateurs. Clean and easy to get up. Recommended 
to high schools. All the parts are good. Price^ 2^ cents 



M. yj. Pinero's Plays 

Pnce, 50 gents each 



MID-CHANNEL n^'-'l '"' ^*''"' ^''*'- ^^^ ^^^^s, eve temales. 
uiiLf v^iiJAimLiL. Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. 

THE NOTORIOUS MRS. EBBSMITH li:tr'^,^Tt 

males, five females. Costumes, modern; scenery, all" interfors 
Plays a full evening. 

THE PROFLIGATF F^^y,^^ Four Acts. Seven males, five 
lOE. FAUrLlUAlE. femaes. Scenery, three interiors, rather 
elaborate ; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 

THE SCHOOLMLSTRFSS Farce in Three Acts. Ninemales, 
lllL, 0\,n\JUL.miOlRC.;yCi seven females. Costumes, mod- 
ern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

THE SECOND MRS. TANQUERAY ^li^SS^^^, 

temales. Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. Plars a 
full evening. <*)=> a, 

SWEET LAVFNDFR comedy in Three Acts. Seven males, 
O^lEsE^l iJ^yE,nUL.I\ four females. Scene, a single interior 
costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 

THE THUNDFRROI T comedy in Four Acts. Ten males, 
lllL. 1 nu 1^1/L.I\DUL,1 nine females. Scenery, three interi- 
ors; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening, 

THF TIMFS Comedy in Four Acts. Six males, seven females. 
... ■ai"tiu Scene, a single interior; costumes, modern. Plavs 
a full evening. -^ 

THF WFAICFR ^FY comedy in Three Acts. Eight males, 
lilt. JfVi:./\IVE.I\ i3£.A eight females. Costumes; modern 
scenery, two interiors. Plays a full evening. 

A WIFE WITHOUT A SMILE ?,"r,?7a.l^Ju\'!l„^.?2: 

Costumes, modern ; scene, a single interior. Plays a full evening. 



Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 

Waittv i|. Pafeer & Companp 

No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



3^ecent popular 




018 603 685 2 



THF AWAITFNTNft ^^^^ ^° ^^^^ ^^*^- -^^ ^' -^^ Chambers. 
ill£i ATTAHLillllU Four males, six females. Scenery, not diffi- 
cult, chiefly interiors ; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 
Price, 50 Cents. 

THE FBCITS OF ENUflHTENMENT %T^%^-ro^rT.iZ- 

one males, eleven females. Scenery, characteristic interiors ; cos- 
tumes, modern. Plays a full evening. Recommended for reading 
clubs. Price, 25 Cents. 

BIS EXCELLENCY TDE (iOVERNOR rj,TBlH'^'^r\?2 

males, three females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, one interior. 
Acting rights reserved. Time, a full evening. Price, 50 Cents. 

AW inPAf HIICRAVn Comedy in Four Acts. By Oscar Wilde. 
All IVliALt UVJDAnV Nine males, six females. Costumes, mod- 
ern ; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. Acting rights 
reserved. Sold for reading. Price, 50 Cents. 

THE IMPORTANCE OF BEINfi EARNEST Itlt ^? 1^1^ 

Wilde. Five males, four females. Costumes, modern ; scenes, two 
interiors and an exterior. Plays a full evening. Acting rights re- 
served. Price, 50 Cents. 

LADY WINDERMERE'S FAN S^^.^^^£^l''^^.^lTii 

males. Costumes, modern ; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full 
evening. Acting rights reserved. Price, 50 Cents. 

NATHAWHATF Play in Four Acts. By Clyde Fitch. Fifteen 
llAlliAll UALih males, four females. Costumes of the eighteenth 
century in America. Scenery, four interiors and two exteriors. Act- 
ing rights reserved. Plays a full evening. Price, 60 Cents. 

THF HTHFR FFTTftW Comedy in Three Acts. ByM.B. HoRNE. 
lUli vlllLII rLlylfVTT Six males, four females. Scenery, two 
interiors ; costumes, modern. Professional .stage rights reserved. 
Plays a full evening. Price, 50 Cents. 

TBE TYRANNY OF TEARS dS^i^L^^rl^^s^r^ gi 

males. Scenery, an interior and ail exterior ; costumes, modern. 
Acting rights reserved. Plays a full evening. Price, 50 Cents. 

A WOMAN OF NO IMPORTANCE ^i^^^SJT^iii^Il 

seven females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, three interiors and an 
exterior. Plays a full evening. Stage rights reserved. Offered for 
reading only. Price, 50 Cents. 



Sent prepaid on receipt of price by- 
Walter i^. TBafeer & Company 

No. 5 Hamilton Place. Boston, Massachusetts 

S- -i. PARKHILL «. CO , PRINTEI B, BOSTON 



